There are several things to love about Runners World (all of them unintentional). Every time i get a new issue an image springs to mind of some very frustrated journalists in some crappy office somewhere struggling to find enough stories to fill the next issue.
"How about we do a feature on 'get in shape now!'"
"But we did that last month"
"Oh... how about 'Conquer any hill... 13 tricks to reach the top!'"
"Nope, did that last month too"
"oh. damn... how about 'Pimp my Running route'?"
"done it"
"Damn. Pass me another doughnut Jack"
Subsequently, the best thing about Runner's World, and the bit which makes me snort into my coffee, is the wonderful headlines on the front cover, blatantly designed to attract as wide an audience as possible, convert as many non-readers as possible and make the world of runners somehow interesting enough to make you fork out your £4.50 for exactly the same publication you got last month... Fab!
Here's a sample of April's issue:
A better way to breathe! - page 41
Guilt-Free Eating Plan! - Fuel your run with fish n chips! (for lard arses like me)
Do You Tie Your Laces wrong? - You might be surprised! (indeed, i think might be...)
But none of these beat my two favourite ones from march's issue:
The Road to Romance - find your perfect running partner! (for Bridget Jones's)
49 Brilliant reasons to run! (this must've taken the struggling journalists weeks to come up with a total of 49 'brilliant' reasons to run)
I like this last one, coz to be honest, i can think of 250,000,000,00000000000000 reasons not to run.
They are as follows...
a) It hurts
b) it's knackering
c) it's takes up vast amounts of your time
d) it's makes you eat more (afterwards), not less
e) you have to eat sensibly before every run (booooo) and cut out alcohol (BOOOOO)
f) you have to brave the elements and run no matter what the weather
g) you have to embrace wearing embarrassing clothing in public
h) your friends start to avoid you coz all you do is bang on about how many miles you can now run
i) you become the most smug individual in the world every time you beat a new distance / time and discover another new muscle in your legs
etc etc
PS. Did i tell you that I did a half marathon in 1hr 53? This is pretty damn good, and my legs are SUPER-toned.
Smug smug smug. Oh, and I nearly forgot to mention the ridiculously toned topless hottie they put on every front cover (see below).
their audience clearly breaks down as follows: a) Straight men who want to look like this b) Straight single women who think they're going to bump into a man running the same route who looks like this and c) gay men who probably already met a man who looked like this on their running route, but didn't get around to asking for his number.
www.justgiving.com/jameswatts
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