Marathon map arrives, and the verdict's in...

Now I know why Flora London Marathon send you the route map only 2 weeks before the actual run.

Now I know why they don't send it to you when you sign up. 

I mean I know everyone knows it's a bloody marathon, but you don't quite realise how bloody far it is until you see the actual route.

And also, of course, it's arrival also makes your brain scream "Holy sh*t, less than 2 weeks to Marathon Day".

How utterly, utterly, utterly unnerving. Every time i think about it my tummy does a little flip.

Not sure what scares me the most... The thought of not finishing it? The fact that doing 21 miles was unbelievable painful and doing another 5 just seems impossible? The thought of the chaffing, the nipple bleeding, the cramps and the fact that some people shit themselves and don't even notice??

(Seeing as some of my lovely friends and family are coming to see me run/crawl/die/cheer me on, I'm 110% confident that there will be no crapping-of-the-pants. Let's just be clear on that point now, shall we...)

So... back to business. The Flora Marathon sent me a map of the running route, complete with mile-by-mile markers.

Now, as any Londoner will tell you, Canary Wharf is officially known as "a-feck-of-a-long-way' from Pall Mall / outside Buckingham Palace where the finishing line is (I have a theory it's outside Buck Palace so the Queen can hide behind the curtains and laugh as the dying runners shuffle past on their last legs). Usually it would take you at least 40mins and a couple of tube lines to get from one to the other (on a good day). 

So you can image my surprise when i discovered that Canary Wharf is actually mile 20 on the map. 

Mile 20???? Mile 20???? I was pretty sure Canary Wharf would be about mile 13 (i.e. half way). Seeing as Mile 15 is usually when my muscles seriously start to ache and Mile 18 is usually when i want to start sobbing, it would be nice to at feel as if you were on the home stretch at this point... for example, the Embankment. That would feel about right.

The thought of hitting the "oh my god if i stop now i'll never move again" point whilst still in the east of London (in fact further east of the city, which is... er... well, east of the West End) is

 horrible. 

Deep breath. Any, just in case you want a laugh, here's the map of the route. The little white blobs are mile markers.

Count them.... 20.

For those not familiar with London, the bit where the route crosses Tower Bridge and turns RIGHT (i.e. away from finishing line) instead of LEFT (towards the Queens pad and the finishing line) is also horrible.  

Quite clearly planned by some complete sadistic git. 

Or Paula bloody Radcliffe.

Who -incidentally- did shit herself, and on national TV as well. And they still gave her a medal. Tsk. 

Actually let's re-visit that moment shall we?

Ta-dah! 

See, there's nothing glamourous about Marathon running. 

Actually, I really shouldn't gloat too quickly, that might be me in just under 2 weeks.

But no matter what happens on the day, I've raised over £1,700 (aiming for £2k, so £300 to go...) in six months for www.fhaonline.org.uk 

As my friend and fundraiser extraordinaire (hereby known as M Danceland) always told me, fundraising is a matter of persistence, determination and good organizational skills. 

I went for a different approach which consisted of nagging, unsubtle shameless begging, and filling inboxes with emails... works though. Ish. 

£300 left to go people.... 

www.justgiving.com/jameswatts